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'Look' magazine fashion swap event [03 Feb 2009|05:30pm]

On Saturday (Jan 31st) I went to the ‘Look’ magazine fashion swap event – I’d seen it advertised in the magazine a few weeks ago and kept the page to remind myself nearer the time as I thought it looked like fun. So, on the previous weekend myself and many other girls and ladies took up to 10 unwanted items of clothing, accessories, shoes and bags and donated them to this little shop in a small road just off Carnaby Street (central London). The girls behind the counter gave us points for each item according to what they think it was worth (designer, label, size, condition…) then the points were totalled up, printed out and stuck into a little card. I got 170 points! This card I kept safe for the following weekend as there would be no entry to the event without it, then when I got into the store I would use the points to exchange for anything I wanted in there and had enough points for. Apparently some famous women had donated things too (e.g Gwen Stefani), and some high street stores also donated items (I didn’t see any though, probably gone long before I got there).


Event started at 10am so I left it for a few hours as I didn’t want to be part of some big crush to get in; got there about 1pm and the queue was down the road and round the corner…

So I went off window shopping in Covent Garden instead, smelling all the wonderful products in Lush and B Never Too Busy To Be Beautiful :) Went back to the fashion swap at about 20 past 2pm and the queue was a bit smaller so I joined, having been to Pret A Manger first so I had a spicy falafel melt to eat while in the queue. The queue was actually on the opposite side of the road to the shop, and there were big security men with Eastern European accents – and I was surrounded in the queue by late teens/early 20s chatterbox girlies, squeaking about the latest celeb gossip, hunky actors in films, favourite shops AAAAARGH! I wanted to put my fingers in my ears and go ‘la la la la’ but instead I read the book I’d brought with me (‘Fashionistas’ by Lynn Messina – yes, that was intentional). It was freezing but I was all wrapped up in my hat, scarf and chunky gloves so it was ok, and I heard a girl behind me lamenting to her friends that she’d lost her points card; I couldn’t help feeling a bit smug that I hadn’t been so careless and had kept my card prominetly on my desk all week, but then that’s the kind of sensible thing us older women do…


A nice little Thai lady came along the line with a tray of mini cups of soup for us as free samples to advertise the café or restaurant she worked for, so of course I grabbed one and it was really nice! Clear, watery soup with some bean sprouts and little bits of onion and greenery in it. Then a bit later a presenter lady with a microphone appeared accompanied by a man with a big black video camera, she was doing a ‘piece’ for the magazine’s website about the event. She went along the line asking girls to be interviewed for it, they all said no until she got to the girls right in front of me who said yes! She just asked them what their fave high street shop was (Topshop) and what they thought of the fashion swap event (great for the environment and great to get free clothes) – I hid behind the presenter, with the peak of my hat pulled down and my book held up!


Finally got to front, big security man unhooked the rope for me to go through, other big security man at the door checked my points card and wrote my time of entry on it, telling me I had 30 minutes in there. Then he told the girl near me that she couldn’t go in because she didn’t have a points card even though she said she was with her friend who did have one. Harsh!


It was only a small shop space; 7 rails of clothing to rifle through, a wall with some bags hanging on it, some plastic boxes full of shoes… It was largely disappointing though, a lot of the clothes were cheap and uninspiring or downright ugly, it was obvious why people had got rid of them! I’d gone in there with the intention of finding some things for my sister as it’s her birthday next weekend, and I found a couple of things for her but more things for me really! I didn’t try anything on as that would’ve wasted time, I just thought the things looked like they’d fit (which it turned out they did, when I got home). I’d taken a big supermarket ‘bag for life’ type carrier with me, and came out with it full!


So, all in all a nice day, an interesting experience and a shopping high without spending any money! Woohoo!

Here's my booty...

in hereCollapse )in hereCollapse )


15 comments|post comment

Fairytales... [11 Jan 2009|04:10pm]

So, finally arrived back from Prague after what seemed like a very long time and am looking forward to continuing work on my novel. Yeah, I know, everyone’s writing a novel… But mine just happened to take shape without me previously planning it or anything; back in early November I started writing short stories which just seemed to appear and flow from me through my fingers on the keyboard onto the screen, real ‘inspiration’ moments, y’know? Then I realised I could build on them and expand them into chapters, use them as a starting point and develop from there. It’s all happening gradually though – the short stories keep coming as little bite-size chunks and I’ve only developed one or two of them so far. But I’m happy that I’ll at least have lots of material to work with at some point soon. Then I’ll pull it all together, edit it, and have a book :) It’s a nice process to be involved with; I always loved writing stories all through my childhood, for as long as I can remember.


Speaking of books, I bought two fab ones in Prague, in the English-language section of a large bookstore (yes, the rabid bookworm doesn’t even take a break during overseas travel). Kafka’s ‘The Metamorphosis’ because, well, I should – having read it at school but don’t really remember it, and also having read his other best-known work ‘The Trial’. As I’m reading it it’s all coming back to me, which is nice. The other one is ‘Czech Fairytales’ – a collection of classic old Czech fairytales gathered together by a Czech author and a Czech poet; similar to the old German tales by the Grimms. I don’t know if many of my friends know this about me but I absolutely LOVE classic fairytales (another leftover from my early childhood), especially the scary old German ones with all the bad bits left in! It’s why I love films like ‘Edward Scissorhands’ and ‘The Company of Wolves’ so much :) And castles! Also of course in my head I’m a sad little imprisoned Princess waiting to be rescued by a brave hero who has endured long harsh journeys and near-impossible tasks set by bad spirits and witches and wizards but has outwitted them and survived to win my fair hand…


I have a book of fairytales back at my parents’ place, all the old classic ‘nice’ ones, that I’ve kept from way way back and absolutely treasure it – I’ve had it so long I can remember my Dad reading it to me before I went to sleep at night because I was such a little girl I couldn’t read by myself :)


In my recent photos of myself in the thick heavy Czech snow, the contrast of the brilliant red of my hair against the stark white of the snow made me feel like Rose Red – Snow White’s sister (bet you didn’t know she had a sister did you?! Told you I love fairytales :p). This made me smile to myself :)


So, recently, driving through the town of Nuremberg and staring wide-eyed at the amazing huge castle with it’s long walls, majestic turrets, moat and drawbridge, magically floodlit in the night, then later on the motorway seeing another beautiful castle floodlit on a hill in the distance, a sudden thought struck me:


How can I possibly have gone through life without ever having been to Germany?
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New Year's Eve 2008, Wenceslas Square, Prague [01 Jan 2009|02:08pm]
Just after the fireworks...

one more photo hereCollapse )
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[06 Dec 2008|02:54pm]
I got Buster back!Collapse )
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few recent photos [04 Dec 2008|01:46pm]
Went to a party in Wigan last Saturday; my sister's boyfriend's sister recently got married to her long-term boyfriend and father of their little son. Wedding was on the island of Rhodes so this party was for those who didn't make it there. They invited me and my parents, who they've never even met, but must have heard so much about us from my sis and her bf, heh :) Much as I didn't want to go considering what I've just been through, I felt obliged as it really was sweet of them to invite us. It was alright, and nice to spend a few extra days than usual with my family. And of course I was overjoyed to cuddle my little Vanna-cat again! She's so tubby, heh! But still a little sweetie-pie cuddle-addict :)

Anyway - photos, if anyone's interested:

click hereCollapse )
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How I've been feeling lately... [26 Nov 2008|02:35pm]
Been hiding in the corner a bit...

duas mais em aquiCollapse )
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[25 Nov 2008|02:18pm]

I think I really need to throw myself into the Buddhism I’d been getting into these last few months; I think I’m going to need a lot of help to heal…


The ‘rollercoaster relationship’ has come to an end. It turned out it was a mutual decision, as he’d come to see me to end it as well. As soon as he’d left my room I collapsed onto my pillow into loud sobs (yeah, like last time) as he descended the stairs and quietly closed the door behind him. I’d just about managed to hold it together in front of him, I had to keep reminding myself: You can’t go back now, you wanted this, you’d made the decision, you wanted to get out of this relationship but you haven’t had the guts until now, this is it, it’s really happening



lots of musings and thoughts on the subject, under hereCollapse )
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[23 Nov 2008|04:32pm]


relationship angry rant, cut for those who don't have the time to read it all...Collapse )
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[22 Nov 2008|03:22pm]

I feel my old depression is coming back. I’ve been pregnant with boredom for some time now, and depression is what will be born of that boredom – I’m starting to feel the labour pains and feeling the need to push…


But I don’t want to. I don’t want to be depressed again, I’ve been keeping it away for years now, I don’t want to go back there. I haven’t been able to sleep for over a week now: insomnia is one of the classic symptoms, one of the starting points… I keep getting images of the knives in the kitchen, holding one of them against the flesh of my forearm, whipping it across and away, seeing the red liquid line appear in it’s place…I don’t want to go back there, I don’t want to be like that again.


My life has come to a standstill as I wait for my new contract to start while being regularly informed by the agencies that there just isn’t anything available anywhere at the moment (expecting things to pick up again in the new year), applying for jobs via the local paper but receiving ‘no thanks’ letters because obviously I don’t have exactly the right experience or don’t have my own transport or just don’t ‘feel’ right from the tone of my application, or whatever it is…I’m struggling to fill my days with walking around, exploring neighbouring regions of Hertfordshire, getting the bus now and then – anything to try and tire me out so I can sleep at night. But I still don’t sleep. Whichever side I lie on, wherever I put my legs, my hips hurt; whichever way I turn my head I can’t switch my brain off, and I cover the pillow in tears every night, I think my mind hates me, it just throws all these horrible thoughts at me to really hurt me and make me cry.


I need to kill myself, that’s obviously what everything’s leading up to. But I can’t even do that – there’s no way I could leave my parents to pay off my 2-and-a-half-grand credit card bill and over-ten-grand student loan. That’s my main aim in life now – get job, save enough money to pay off debts. It’s the only thing I have to live for, there really is nothing else in my life worth staying around for. I don’t have any friends in St Albans, there’s nowhere for me to go to meet people, nothing around here that fits in with any of my interests, nothing social I could do by myself. The people I love are all in Liverpool, London, Holland or Portugal – all places I can’t afford to travel to if I’m to save enough money to pay off my debts before I ‘go’. So I spend my days not seeing anyone, not talking to anyone – the only contact I have with other people is the people in shops that I browse in, people from the agencies who phone me, or the two guys I live with. My phone package gives me free minutes between 7.30pm and 7.30am, but only a certain amount, according to the amount I top it up by – I’ve used all my free minutes for this month now. But I’d hate to phone anyone in this state, I’d end up crying and incomprehensible and dragging everyone down with me (and as everyone knows, I hate doing that).


I’ve had enough now of being alone, rejected, abandoned – and enough of waiting. Waiting for my life to start, wanting to get it started myself but not knowing what I want to do or how to go about anything. I’ve thought of going back to education, of learning a skill, but I can’t decide on what, and guess what? Can’t afford the tuition fees! So there’s something else I might save up for but probably won’t save enough in time for next September, or for applying, which is around now – but apply for what? Teacher training course? Set and Stage design? Masters in Art? Milinary? How do I decide, how do I know… What do I do in the meantime?


My life plan is now as follows – get jobs here and there, work on paying off debts, kill self. What’s the point in saving for the future when I clearly don’t have one… I’d only have to move back to Liverpool at some stage and be a financial and emotional burden on my parents again, like I always was, but I really don’t want to do that again, they don’t deserve it. Any why am I writing all this in here? For a record, for myself, to look back on and see where my mind was at the time, what might have started the chain of events that led me to wherever I happen to be. I’ll try to give myself a year, or two, to pay everything off, work as hard as I can on that. And if I manage it, I should be dead by the end of 2010. That can be my goal.

[11 Nov 2008|04:34pm]


On the subject of self-help booksCollapse )
7 comments|post comment

The strangest things happen to me sometimes... [07 Oct 2008|04:23pm]

Today I put a mouse in an envelope. But didn't post it...


Say what?Collapse )
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[03 Oct 2008|05:28pm]
doko...?Collapse )
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Tipsy-post time! [01 Aug 2008|10:36pm]
Raaarrr, thought I should update something in here but in lieu of content I've opted for the tipsy, on-the-edge-of-a-bit-drunk option - courtesy of some random brand of Rioja followed by Wolf Blass Shiraz Grenache which I'm currently gently partaking :) Oh and everyone's favourite Pringles, Sour Cream and Onion :)

And over in the other Firefox tab we have http://blogs.elleuk.com/author/mademoiselle/, and yes I'm a fickle fashionista sometimes but I do love Elle so much and the 'mystery It Girl' column is my favourite part - just who the heck IS she?! Anyway in this blog entry she's talking about Berlin - I've never actually been to Germany, can you believe? I can't, and I'm me! At this age! Anyway, I've decided that if I ever get caught up in the idea of marriage being a good idea (what a strange idea...) then  I'd have my hen do as a weekend or long weekend in Berlin as they apparently have the best goth/industrial clubs in the whole of Europe...I'd dress in fabulous knee-length huge platformed silver buckled shiny black Serious Boots (which I wouldn't be able to afford for months in the real world but hey, this is a *dream sequence*) and some extravagant outfit that I'd made myself with lots of feathers, with a green-black or blue-black tone resembling that of a Magpie. But with my toned and flat belly on show (ha! This really IS a *dream sequence*!), and some shocking friends. Then I'd look like an attendee of Torture Garden or something, oh and I'd have spooky contacts in my eyes that made me look like a cat or something, like yellow or vibrant green coloured... I'd be so cool!

Not that I'm thinking of marriage or anything, just Berlin really. And gothy-ness. And extravagant 'me'. It's just that the 'Sex And The City' film finished downloading last night so I watched it, and there's a scene containing the most casual, logical, 'this is a sensible idea' marriage proposal, and I just started thinking of what would happen if that was me and of course the main preparation would be a memorable hen do! I'd like to be the Dutch way, with the stag and hen do's meeting up at the end of the night and combining things, but hey this is England... Actually the film was a bit of an eye-opener abut all the things that can go wrong with planning a wedding... But i'd have to have been with the relevant person for a number of years before even thinking of stuff like that (twice bitten, three times shy in my case) so is not the case at the moment.

But maybe I should go to Berlin and be an Industrial biatch anyway! Maybe I should start saving for the boots and designing the outfit as soon as I've properly sobered up! I need to be more creative, I can't remember the last time I was creative...oh actually I made a couple of cards recently, but I need to really break out and start inventing, I mean I'm in London now where all the opportunities are, why am I so caught up in work and travelling so much for that and being exhausted all the time?

I'm still obsessed by The Do, by the way, they're the main thing I listen to on my MP3 player (along with the Cillit Bang remix and an EBM compilation that my brother Kris did for me) (bruvver from another Muvva) - right now is the song 'Stay (just a little bit more)' which contains the wonderful line:

"he could never be the satisfying shag I needed"
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New new...NEW! For me! New! Music...CD...WONDERFUL!! [23 Jul 2008|07:44pm]
I'm almost wetting myself with excitement and sheer unfetterd JOY as I type this - my new CD arrived from France this morning, my current favourite band, my obsession, I just couldn't get it anywhere so you can only imagine my disbelief that I'd actually managed to get a copy until it was really here in my hands...and now it is! I'm so excited, and for the first time in a while I'm HAPPY!

Ladies and gentlemen - THE DØ!

Pronounced 'doh' as in 'doh ray me fah so lah ti doh'.

I've been obsessed with them for weeks now - as you know, I listen to the French internet radio station 'Alouette' pretty much every evening when I get home, originally in an effort to keep practicing languages but then I became hooked on the fab new and different music they play on there (find it here if you're interested). Well, Alouette regularly play 'On My Shoulders' by The Dø, and it really grew on me - the singer's voice is so folk-tinged, with lots of dips down and jumps up throughout each song and occasionally she sounds a bit whine-y, which for some reason sounds fantastic to me... So another site I go on lots & lots is the amazing Last FM (which is here, for those of you I haven't raved to about it yet and then got you hooked on it as well, heh) where I of course did a search for The Dø and discovered only a little bit about them 'cos they're so new (only formed last year!). Here's what I found out:

They're made of Dan Levy, from Paris, France, and Olivia Bouyssou Merilahti from Helsinki, Finland. It also says:
"The Dø’s music can be classified as diverse, incorporating many different genres and styles, including avant-garde noise, hip-hop and classical music. Thus the music could be said to fit into the freak folk-genre. The band’s debut record was called A Mouthful and was released in 2008."

So, thanks to Last FM I discovered many more of their songs & videos (although there's no official vids on there, just pictures people have put to the tune). I've been listening to them exclusively on Last FM for weeks now, discovering more and more new tracks, and not able to be distracted by anything else (in the 'similar music' section). I longed to possess their music for myself, so I could have it on my MP3 player to take everywhere with me rather than have to wait til I get home every time I want to listen to them (which was all the time!).

So the search began...

Amazon - no (UK & USA sites).

Play - no.

Ebay - no.

So frustrating! I was ready to cry after hours and hours of searching, I mean there's almost no info anywhere online about them. I found a copy of the album to buy from i-tunes - so I downloaded i-tunes! I had no reason to, I don't have an Ipod and I'm not really interested in all that, but I did it for The Dø! And then it wouldn't work - how frustrated was I?! I could see it there but I couldn't have it! It's actually the whole reason for that recent post asking about music downloading programs I did on here - I did it for The Dø!

I even looked them up on MySpazz - which you know I despise with a passion, but yes you guessed it - I did it for The Dø :)

And then...a wonderful idea came to me, one of those 'why didn't you think of this before?!' moments - Amazon must have a French site! It might still lead to nought, but since I first heard them on French radio it's definately worth a try!

And they had it...

And I created an account on the French Amazon site, all in French *fear my L33T language skillz*

And I ordered it...

And now I have it :)

And I'm the happiest, bounciest, boingiest little bunny on the planet *glows*

P.S. If you choose to check them out, the first song you MUST listen to is 'On My Shoulders'. Then 'The Bridge Is Broken' then 'At Last' - this is the order in which I fell in love with them :) Oh and they're on tour at the moment (not in the UK tho of course - the album isn't released here) and I'm seriously trying to organise my schedule and finances to try and see them somewhere in France, or Finland, or Germany... *dreams*
9 comments|post comment

Curious about your opinion... [16 Jul 2008|09:41pm]
Hello all, I'm just wondering if you'll give me your opinions on something -

What would you say is polite and 'correct' behaviour and attitude when renting a room in someone else's house (and the landlord or landlady lives there too)? What's your definition of respectful attitude, or offensive actions and ways of behaving? How should one conduct oneself, what type of things should and shouldn't you say or do, in your opinion (apart from the obvious)? I realise each answer will be personal and particular to the individual and so no two answers will be the same, but I'm looking for any common themes or patterns...and I'm going to keep any answers screened as I don't want anyone to be influenced even subconsciously by someone else's answer, or to respond to it more than giving me your own direct thoughts. And I want you to be completely truthful with me too please!

Thanks in advance for any responses!

post comment

Can anybody help me...? (stupid computer stuff) [08 Jul 2008|11:20pm]
Hi, I'm a cave-dwelling troglodyte who has used a PC before but never downloaded music on it. Yes, you read that right with your mouth hanging open - never downloaded music. So, my Newzbin account has been purged because I never used it and there's no useful info anywhere in their FAQs to just link me to a 'register again' type page (what a load of waffle that site's full of) and I won't touch Soulseek 'cos of the viruses everyone else gets from it - is there anything else anywhere that's actually any good? Obviously I've done a search but a) everything sounds dodgy and sites I've never heard of, b) everything is taking too long to read through, because of c) I'm so shattered and my eyes are puffed up so I can't physically trawl through a load of crap just to find the bits that say 'register here' and 'download'... I can't even look at this PC screen anymore, I'm far too tired and my eyes are starting to hurt, I can't read through a load of waffle on these sites - what do you use to download music?  What would you recommend to me? I just want to search for something, find it, and download it (obviously after installing the program) - isn't there anything out there that just does that?

Look at the time, I really should be already asleep right now, there just isn't enough hours in my life to do all the things I want to do... I'm going to bed, but please someone recommend something useful to me, I've wasted far too many hours over the last few months trying to work things out and getting nowhere...

27 comments|post comment

An overdue update! [02 Jul 2008|10:15pm]

Been meaning to do this for ages but have just been exhausted lately, haven’t had the PC on much in the evenings and sometimes not at all as I’ve had enough of it in work all day and it makes my eyes really tired so I fall asleep really early. I’ll have to keep this brief so I don’t wear myself out again!

10 comments|post comment

Help needed: please try to save the bulls! [03 Jun 2008|01:03pm]
Just a quick one - please sign this petition to the Spanish Prime Minister to tell him how against bullfighting almost all of us are:


It's already a known fact that a huge percentage of foreign visitors to Spain refuse to attend bullfights - almost everyone except a large percentage of the Spanish population can see the bullfight for the sheer evil torture that it truly is. Let's all show the Spanish Prime Minister that torture has no place in modern civilised society - together we may be able to save the poor bulls. Thank you! x
6 comments|post comment

THIS IS IMPORTANT!! [29 May 2008|08:50pm]
For anyone I haven't recently emailed or Facebooked about this - please vote for Ruby! It's THE photo competition of the moment, and it ends tomorrow - need more votes, lots more votes, let's keep her firmly in the top ten so Mr Giorgio Armani himself will see her work, come on guys, if we work together we can really do it...

Brief: online contest to become the advertising designer (or whatever they call it) for the new Armani perfume, open to everyone in the world, for which Ruby has submitted 3 truly stunning photos, one of which is riding high in the top ten for the UK. Once you see the gorgeous images you'll realise how worthy a cause this is, click here for her introduction and the photos themselves:


All you need to do is put your email address in the space provided and click on 'vote' - you don't need to register, it's all free, and they won't send you anything - I've voted with all my email addresses and I've got NOTHING from them at all. It's risk-free, just a vote - but it only lets you use each of your email addresses once, so I can't vote anymore :( That's why we need YOU! Do it now, no time to lose, use all your email addresses, vote vote vote! I've gotten her votes so far from all over the UK, the Netherlands, and hopefuly Japan and Portugal too - let's add even more!


Oops - that link doesn't seem to be clicky - please copy&paste it into your address bar, I've just tried that and it works fine like that. Sorry!
4 comments|post comment

Warning - happy, 'nice' post ahead! [27 May 2008|08:35pm]
Depression Point:

I work in an office.

Uplifting & Heartwarming Moments:

My entrance into the office this morning sparked off a chain of huge happy smiles, joyous exclamations of "Vikkiii!" and "Heyyy, you're back, good to see ya!" and similar :) Everyone looked genuinely brightened by my prescence, I was like "Wow!" to myself! Then a bit later one of my porter-friends came in, saw me and gave me a big 'welcome-back' bear hug and was asking all about the holiday; bit later my becoming-a-friend Alexa on the 8th floor phoned and was really happy that it was me who answered the phone AND suggested we meet up for a coffee and a catch-up soon (I'm making a new friend!!); bit later saw another porter-friend and got another huge hug (and he said he'd missed me, aaaw!); later still saw Alexa in the postroom and she said I looked gorgeous and had a 'glow' about me; then while exiting the Tube station on the way home I saw an ex-colleague, Farah, who looked really happy to see me and gave me a big hug and suggested we go out for a drink and a catch-up next week 'cos we haven't seen each other for ages. Today has made me feel loved and wanted and appreciated and...just...genuinely liked by everyone! I mean I know one's closest friends make one feel like that, but  when it's people you don't know as well as that, and a larger number of people, it feels kinda weird in a good way, y'know?! Like you suddenly feel you've been making a good impression all this time and don't feel quite so 'in the background' anymore... I don't really know how to describe it, but emotionally I've had a really lovely day!

I hope you're all well out there and that life isn't being too hard on you at the moment - maybe some of my happiness can be contagious...? :)

**end happiness transmission**
2 comments|post comment

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